About Perspicacity
by Calm Soul
Summary: [Yamachi] In which Daisuke is not amused, Hikari is stupid, Takeru is impatient, and there is much ado about handcuffs and stripping. Oh dear.


_Disclaimer_: Digimon doesn't belong to me, and I am making no money off this.

_Pairings_: Yamachi, Junora OR Soyako, slight Koumi in later chaps, and a few other pairs.

_Warnings_: Major OOC, shounen ai, shoujo ai, hetero, Pro-Jun, Pro-Sora, profanities.

I wrote this story because I needed something to distract me from all the writer's block I'm been having from Snapshot, IWD, and my other stories. And besides, all these stupid plot bunnies have kept bothering me and bothering me until I couldn't help but write this out.

This whole thing will have 3 Chapters in total (hah! See, I even have it planned out!). And here's Part One.

* * *

_**About Perspicacity**_

**_Part 1: About Yodeling_**

* * *

"No way, my brother would so prefer ice cream over whipped cream," Hikari stated calmly, propping herself onto her elbows while lying down on her bed.

Takeru raised an eyebrow and leaned against the computer, staring at the brunette on the bed and the redhead on the floor. "What makes you say that Hikari? I'll have you know that whipped cream is an excellent source for comfort food. Plus, it's a great topping for a lot of things," he countered.

"Hmm, that does raise a good point," murmured Hikari. She turned to their other companion who was busy lying on the floor and eating popcorn. "What do you think Daisuke?"

"Huh?" asked the distracted redhead, who had already finished half the bowl of popcorn and was still trying to chew some down.

"Do you think Taichi would prefer chocolate or whipped cream for comfort food?" Takeru asked, helping himself to some popcorn, only to have his hand batted away from the possessive redhead.

"Well," started Daisuke, once he had finished swallowing down his junk food. "Personally, I think Taichi just doesn't seem like an 'ice cream' person to me, sorry Hikari." added the redhead hastily as he saw the glare the girl gave him. "But I also can't see Taichi eating whipped cream either. Frankly, I think Taichi seems like the 'chocolate' kind of guy to me."

Takeru rolled his eyes. "You're a chocolate kind of guy Daisuke," He said with a tone that would've sounded fond if it hadn't been for the rolling eyes.

"Nuh uh!" Daisuke protested. "I'll have you know that I am a big fan of-"

They never would find out what Daisuke's favorite comfort food was, because at that moment all three Chosen heard the apartment door open with a huge bang and an angry voice call out, "I'm home!"

Exchanging bewildered glances, it only took three seconds for the group to decide what course of action to take: Eavesdropping. All three children pressed their ears against the door, trying to hear as much of the conversation as they could.

"I think Taichi's home," Takeru said softly, careful not to make too much noise.

Hikari and Daisuke nodded in agreement. "And he doesn't sound all that happy." added Daisuke, who was wearing a very concerned look – which quickly brightened up into a smile. "Come on! Let's get eavesdropping!" And with that, the children began to invade Yagami Taichi's privacy.

"_-I had the worst day Mom!"_

"Hmm, seems like he's having an avid conversation with mom." Hikari observed.

"You think?" Takeru replied, a touch of sarcasm used.

"_Tell me all about it Taichi."_

"_Well, first I was late in getting to class because they had some stupid sort of school rally going on in front of the school, and I couldn't really get through the big crowd until the other teachers could break the crowd up, which took UNbelievably long! Of course, when I told the story to the teacher, would he let me off the hook? No…"_

"_Well, I'm sure the day couldn't have been so horrible. So what if you got a little late? I'm sure things got better right sweetie?"_

_A sniffle. "No. They got WORSE. After class ended, I went to my locker only to find that someone had totally trashed it! Well, not really trashed it. I mean, someone must have shoved into it or something, cause there was this huge dent in it! Plus, I couldn't find my books and stuff!"_

Takeru gasped. Hikari and Daisuke stared.

"What's the matter Takeru?" Hikari asked hesitantly, not sure if he really wanted to know.

"I can so feel Taichi's pain. I mean, not being able to find your books for class must be sheer torture! The pain! The agony!" Takeru exclaimed dramatically, putting a hand to his forehead for extra effect.

Daisuke and Hikari only rolled their eyes.

"_Oh, well then, I suppose things could got have gotten worse Taichi."_

"_IT DID!"_

"_Oh…er…"_

"_After getting Detention for not having my stuff with me, I was already for some nice time at lunch, but nooo, nothing ever seems to go my way these days! I was on my way to buy lunch since SOMEONE forgot to pack me something! Anyway, some girl accidentally tripped herself and spilt milk all over me! It was everywhere!"_

"_Oh dear. Is that why your uniform looks so wet? Oh, now I'll have to dry clean it!"_

"_MOM!"_

"_Huh? Oh yeah, your horrible day. Go on dear."_

"_Right. Well…er…that's it actually. After lunch, the whole thing seemed like such a blur to me since I was so hungry because I couldn't have lunch (there wasn't enough time)."_

"_I'm sure your friends were there for you. Where was Yamato during all of this?"_

_A sob. "I don't know! I couldn't find him all day! Sora was missing too! Y-You don't think they were on a date do you? I-" More sobs and hushed comforting words._

"_Oh, there there sweetie pie, does someone need a little hug from their mommy?"_

Daisuke snickered. Takeru chuckled. Hikari scowled and slapped both boys on the heads. Hard.

"_I j-just c-can't bel-believe i-it. Th-they a-aren't o-on a date r-right mommy?"_

"_Oh of course not Taichi. How could Yamato ever prefer Sora over you? You've got wonderful soccer skills! And lots more, like…er…uh…well, you've got really good at soccer skills. Now, come over here and have some ice cream. I know it's your favorite comfort food."_

_Another sniffle. "Thanks mom. You're the best."_

"_Of course I am."_

And with that, all was silent in Yagami Hikari's room. All three (eavesdropping) Chosen once again exchanged looks. It was no secret – even in his own household – that Taichi had certain feelings for Yamato, and it seemed more than obvious that the blonde certainly reciprocated those feelings. So why would Yamato hang out with Sora? And more importantly, what **was** up with Taichi's whole drama queen thing?

"I think Taichi could be jumping to conclusions," stated Takeru firmly. If anyone knew about the older blonde's love life, it would be his brother. And Takeru was quite sure that Yamato would never ditch Taichi – or school for that matter – for a date with _Sora_. It just didn't make any sense.

"Well, that could probably be it." Hikari agreed quickly, worried for her brother. "Taichi does have the tendency to jump to conclusions." Her eyebrows scrunched together. "But what if he's right?" asked the brunette softly.

Daisuke sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Well, I'm not thinking on an empty stomach. Let's go visit the nearest food court in the nearest mall." He stood up and grinned at his friends.

Takeru raised an eyebrow. "Daisuke, you just ate half a bowl of popcorn."

"I have high metabolism!"

"…I _have _always wondered where you put it all."

* * *

"Say, where are the others?" asked an inquiring Takeru, taking a look around the food court and not seeing Iori, Miyako, or Ken anywhere.

Daisuke swallowed down a particularly large bite of his sandwich. "Ken told me that he had something really important he had to do with Iori and I couldn't even get a hold of Miyako," He shrugged. "So I have no idea what they're all up to."

Takeru nodded. "I see," and tried to steal the redhead's French fry, only to have his hand batted away (again). Daisuke was just _too_ good at that sometimes.

"So, what are we going to do about the Taichi, Yamato, and Sora situation?" asked Hikari (who was happily munching on her sushi).

Both boys turned to her with appalled expressions.

"…What?"

Daisuke sighed, resisting the urge to 'tut, tut' the girl. "You seriously aren't actually planning on calling it the 'Taichi, Yamato, and Sora situation' right? Because no offense Hikari, but that is just way too obvious."

The brunette rolled her eyes as the blonde nodded his head in agreement. "Well, what you suggest we call it?" Hikari asked.

This time, Daisuke really _did_ tut her, before turning to his side and producing a manila folder out from nowhere with a flourish of a businessman, and grinned at his two stunned comrades as they read the folder.

The folder read: **Project Y.A.M.A.T.O. A.N.D. T.A.I.C.H.I **in big red letters.

"Daisuke, while that is an… okay… and even more obvious title for the situation, is there any particular reason you used abbreviations in spelling 'Yamato And Taichi'?" Takeru asked, leaning in to look at the folder.

"That's because it stands for…er…Yodeling And Moaning About Taichi's Obvious Attainable Nuisance Doing The Accessible…" Daisuke faltered, staring at the folder. "Itchy Canoeing Hokey… Igloo (1)," finished Daisuke, who quickly added, "But that's not important!"

"…_YODELING!_" sputtered the baffled Hikari.

"…_IGLOO_!" sputtered the astonished Takeru.

"…Well, you don't have to be so mean about it." sniffed the sensitive Daisuke.

* * *

"So, does everyone know the plan?" asked Takeru. All three children were currently huddled together just outside the door of the Yagami apartment, having arrived just minutes from the mall and were now comparing military strategies. Or something like it.

Daisuke stared a bit warily at the blonde. "Takeru," the redhead said very slowly. "There is no plan. All we said that in order to accomplish Project: Yinging And Moaning About Taichi's Obvious-"

"-Yamato And Taichi," cut in Hikari, who immediately received a very strong glare from the irate (and **just** slightly insane) redhead, who corrected her.

"It's Y.A.M.A.T.O. A.N.D. T.A.I.C.H.I. Get your abbreviations right Hikari," commanded Daisuke. Hikari nodded in agreement, even going as far to salute the redhead. Daisuke turned back to Takeru and finished his sentence. "Anyway, we all agreed to take turns at trying to get Yamato and Taichi together, and that you got dibs on first. Say, what was your matchmaking plan anyway?"

Takeru gave an evil-like chuckle (one almost similar to that of the Kaiser's). "You Daisuke, and Hikari," He added as an afterthought. "Are going to help me lure Taichi into the nearest closet, which just so happens to be," He pointed to a storage closet that was set somewhere in the hall. "That one. While you two do this, I'll lure my brother into the very same closet, where both men will have a healthy (or heavy) make-out session filled with lots of kissing and groping!" And he cackled away.

Daisuke stared.

Hikari stared.

Takeru cackled.

"Er…but…how do you know where your brother will be?" Hikari asked softly and clearly with a _lot_ of caution. "He might still be on that date with Sora. Well, if he's on a date with Sora in the first place," She amended quickly.

Takeru shrugged. "Look, if I know my brother, he's probably up in the apartment cooking up something to make for dinner, date or no date. Now, as soon as you have managed to get Taichi into the closet, I want you to contact me using the walkie-talkies so that I know when to get Yamato, okay?"

"…What walkie-talkies?"

* * *

"So, what do you think is happening in there?" whispered Hikari, who – along with Daisuke and Takeru – was currently leaning up against the storage closet door with her ears pressed against the door and trying to listen into the conversation (if there was one in the first place) in the closet.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Daisuke whistled. "Well, it seems like someone's getting it on," He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows in a perverted manner.

Takeru thwacked him on the head. "Quiet you fool! We haven't heard the sweet nothings my brother should be whispering into Taichi's ear! We haven't heard Taichi's adorable acclamations of love! We haven't heard the shy and bashful kisses! We haven't heard the sound of them doing some hot and heavy fucking, so I suggest you keep your mouth shut you Goggle Boy!"

And for once, Daisuke actually listened.

_Scuffling noises._

"Say, how were you able to get Taichi into the closet in the first place?" asked a slightly more normal Takeru.

"Er…well…we kind of…uh, hit him on the head with a frying pan just as soon as he opened the door I guess. Then while he was unconscious, Hikari tied his arms and legs up in rope and we both threw him in the closet," Daisuke explained.

"Where'd you ever find one?" Takeru asked, his curiosity peaked.

"What, rope? Oh, Hikari has tons of that stored up in her room. I thought she was actually a dominatrix in disguise but – OW! You didn't have to hit me that hard!" Daisuke whined as he clutched his skull, where an obvious lump as growing (courtesy of the miffed Hikari).

"No, I was talking about the frying pan."

_Thump. Scuffle. Thump._

"Oh, that. Er, it just kind of happened to be in the kitchen, and I just grabbed it while it was there. Heh."

"Alright then, I guess – wait! WHAT!"

"What?"

"You **tied** him up in rope?" Takeru shouted with aggravation and distress. The poor boy looked ready to either cry or kill. "Now how is Taichi going to get free!"

Daisuke (and Hikari) blinked, slightly taken aback from the outburst. "Er…I don't know," responded Daisuke with a nonchalant shrug.

"Why does Taichi need to be free of ropes? I'll have you know I spent a lot of effort on those ropes, and they look more than fine to me!" argued Hikari. It seemed all three children had forgotten to keep their voices down and were now have an excessive shouting match.

"I'm sure they looked just absolutely spiffing!" Takeru retaliated. "But then how on earth will my brother and your brother be able to have mind blowing sex if your brother can't even get his arms free!"

_Muffle shouts. Bumps. _

Daisuke stroked his chin in thought. "Er…maybe Yamato might be into bondage? You never can tell with blondes," He said hopefully.

"Don't I know that," muttered Hikari under her breath, choosing to hide behind Daisuke's back for protection against the blonde set on watching their brother's getting it on. Honestly, who knew blondes could be so perverted?

Takeru sighed and ruffled his friend's red hair. "You've been hanging around Ken too much Daisuke."

_Banging. Banging. Lots of it._

Hikari and Daisuke exchanged worried glances. "Maybe we should open the door?" suggested Hikari, wondering just **what** was going on in the closet.

"No way!" The blonde protested. "I refuse to open the door until I am positively sure that Yamato and Taichi are getting it on and getting it on good." Ignoring just how weird and wrong those words sounded (especially coming from him); Takeru stared at the door determinedly.

"But Takeru, shouldn't we just open the door slightly so we can check on them? How will you know if Taichi and Yamato are fucking if you can't even see them?" Daisuke countered.

"Hmm," Takeru appeared to be thinking about it. Daisuke did have a point. He then nodded in agreement with some reluctance. "Alrighty then, I guess a small peek won't hurt I guess." And with that, Takeru grabbed the closet door and flung it open (even though it was supposed to be a _small_ peek).

Luckily, what he saw didn't really emotionally scar him in any way. It just hurt him. **A** **lot**.

* * *

Hikari winced as she threw the steak onto Takeru's black (or maybe it was blue, she couldn't really tell). "Ouch," She remarked. "That's gonna leave a mark."

It was the next day that the three children were residing behind a big green bush, brushing up on their much needed espionage skills as all three were dressed in similar camouflage suits (Hikari even supplied the army hats with leaves for better disguises) and spying on the participants – not that they were aware of it – of Project: Yamato And Taic – er, I mean Y.A.M.A.T.O. A.N.D. T.A.I.C.H.I.

As Hikari examined the wound on his eye, Takeru grumbled. "It's just not fair!" complained the blonde. "Why does the sexual tension between them always have to rub them the wrong way? They should be having wild sex to release their hormones by now, not trying to beat each other up, or me for that matter! And all because Yamato refused to tell Taichi just why he was really absent from school and now Taichi's even more convinced that Yamato's dating Sora! Why me!" With that being said, Takeru pouted.

Daisuke, who was looking through his binoculars (even though he didn't really need them since the bush was right up in front), managed to multitask and hit Takeru on the head. "Quiet you dummy!" He hissed. "We are trying to remain low-key here, and we don't need you to blow our cover!" The things Project: **Yodeling And Moani** – well, you get the point – could do to a person.

"Sorry," Takeru apologized with a meek tone.

Daisuke nodded. "Good. Now, let's concentrate on more important matters," He looked at Hikari, who seemed quite immersed with examining the meat on Takeru's eye. "Hikari, I believe it's time to take for you to put your plan into action."

"Oh yeah!" Hikari stood up, eyes bright and Takeru's eye forgotten (something that the blonde expressed in clear disdain with some not-so-pretty language). Excitedly, the brunette girl reached into her pocket and produced an item with a flourish. "This is what I shall use for my totally foolproof plan! It won't go wrong!" Her tone would be called smug, except that _smug_ and Hikari just did not go together.

"Er…Hikari, w-what are you going to do with those handcuffs?"

Hikari turned to the other boys and smiled. Unfortunately, it was a smile _far_ different from her usual angelic ones. This spelled chaos (or maybe it was catastrophe?) all over it. "Nothing much," She shrugged nonchalantly. "Just planning to handcuff Taichi and Yamato together."

"Oh, well that sounds nic – WHAT!" Takeru had apparently realized that Hikari had said and reached over to grab the girl, ignoring Daisuke's reprimands of the noise level. "Are you crazy? That will only encourage them to punch each other even harder! You know how Taichi and Yamato get when they're alone! They're both too stubborn to have mind blowing sex and instead resort to punching their lights out! Your handcuff idea will totally send them off the edge! And NOT in a sexual way!"

Hikari blinked, handcuffs still dangling off her hand and Takeru hanging on her shirt collar. She shook off the blonde and pointed to the lunch table where Taichi and Yamato were at. "Oh c'mon Takeru, I think that my brother and your brother have made up by now, haven't they? So I'm sure if they have the handcuffs on in a good mood, it will only help them get together. Just look at them!" She pointed at the table, and Takeru followed her gaze.

For the most part, Taichi, Yamato, and Sora seemed to be getting along pretty well…sort of. Taichi and Yamato seemed to be doing a sort of dance; avoiding each other's eyes and not even asking to borrow some food or the likes. As a result, Sora had turned out to be the protagonist for the many, many, many one-sided conversations. But that seemed just fine with the redhead, who turned out to be quite the blabbermouth.

"I mean, come on! The tennis ball was right there! You can hardly blame me for shoving the girl out of the way and hitting it myself right? The girl was just standing there for crying out loud! Right guys?"

"…"

"…"

"I know! That was exactly how I felt! But did the coach understand? Noo… She just went on and on and on and on! I mean, do you have any idea how annoying it is to have some female go on about this and that and just NEVER shut up! It can be such an annoyance."

"…"

"…"

Hikari turned to Takeru with a smug expression on her face. Once again, the words did not go together. "See, everything's just fine," reassured the girl. Takeru (though still looked slightly reluctant) seemed convinced for the most part.

Daisuke nodded in agreement. "Hikari does have a point. They do seem to be doing better now." For a millisecond, the redhead put down his binoculars, but then quickly brought them up again, because hey, spying is cool. Spying with binoculars is just awesome.

Hikari beamed. "Exactly! What could go-" However, before she was able to finish her sentence, a football came sailing into the bushes and knocked the handcuffs off Hikari's hands, football still attached and-

"Ow! My head!"

Hikari gaped.

And bonked a poor defenseless girl just walking by. The football (with handcuffs) bounced off the girl's head but-

"NO FOOTBALLS IN THE COURTYARD!"

Takeru shrieked (and not in a very manly manner).

But managed to hit the school principal who will remain unnamed for several reasons, one being that he is just way too unimportant to be given a name. Anyway. The principal picked up the football all the while yelling his head off, and shook the handcuffs off, sending them-

"AHH!"

Daisuke cheered.

Sending them at the table that Sora, Yamato, and Taichi were sitting. The handcuffs went flying into them, but (un)fortunately, all three Chosen were able to duck and avoid the metal. However, the handcuffs managed to hit and bounce off a nearby lunch tray and went sailing into the sky. Takeru and Hikari, hoping to catch it, lunged after it. The handcuffs fell down from the sky, but not before-

Before the metal contraption managed to handcuff _Takeru _and _Hikari_ together.

"…"

"…"

And Daisuke just laughed his head off.

* * *

"What do you mean, you don't have the keys! How can you have handcuffs and not have keys!" shrieked Takeru, who just managed to refrain from strangling his best friend. It was obvious the whole Project was really getting to him.

Takeru, Hikari, and Daisuke had finally moved back to Hikari's room, and were now currently discussing the failures made so far, and what to do with Daisuke's plan, since it was their last chance. Or rather, they were _supposed_ to be discussing the Project. So far, **Daisuke** had turned into the Voice of Reason, as both Takeru and Hikari were getting just a little… insane over the handcuffs. It didn't help that Hikari didn't have the keys for the things.

"It's not really my fault!" Hikari defended herself. "It just always seemed to work into the movies! You know, how the girl and the boy accidentally put on the handcuffs and don't have the keys, and they all fall in love so freakin' fast! And then at the end, the keys always turn up…" Trailing off, Hikari realized what she said and smiled sheepishly. "Er…whoops?"

Once again, Takeru resisted the urge to strangle his best friend.

Daisuke's big hundred watt grin slipped off slightly. "Come on guys! We can worry about the handcuffs and Hikari's once-in-a-blue-moon stupidity later! Now though, it's way more important that we come up with the ultimate plan to get Yamato and Taichi together!" Wow, he was good at the whole 'Voice of Reason' thing. Perhaps he could consider a permanent career…

Silence reigned.

"Come on guys, we have to think of something!"

Takeru and Hikari's eyebrows rose.

"There has to be something we can do!"

Then the eyelids.

"It's just Yamato and Taichi! How hard can it be?"

Takeru looked at Hikari.

"Alright, so it hasn't exactly been easy, but Project: Y.A.M.A.T.O. A.N.D. T.A.I.C.H.I can't do us wrong!"

Hikari looked at Takeru.

"Well, maybe it has done us some wrong. CoughHandcuffsCoughClosetsCough. But, it's nothing we can't fix!" Daisuke exclaimed, wringing his hands with a merry look on his face.

"I'm sorry Daisuke," Takeru said, blue eyes doing that gleam thing that never failed to scare the pants off Daisuke. "But as you see, we can't exactly do anything here as we're slightly _tied_ _up_ now," He sent a glare at Hikari, who being a wonderfully mature lady, stuck her tongue out at him.

"Well, maybe if you had come up with a plan that was better than your stupid Closet idea, I wouldn't have even had to use the handcuffs!" Hikari retaliated.

"Don't you dare even think of blaming me for your stupid mistake!" Takeru shouted, getting right into the girl's face.

"Excuse me! My mistake! This wouldn't have even happened if it wasn't for you and your stupid plan!" shrieked Hikari, getting right into the boy's face. Oh dear, the things this Project could (and would) do to you.

"So you're saying it's my fault we're in this mess!"

"That's exactly what I'm saying!"

"YOU DUMMY!"

"YOU MORON!"

Daisuke's merry smile started to ache.

Perhaps he should have just stuck to being the overconfident Leader of the group. This whole 'Voice of Reason' thing just didn't seem to rub him the right way. Nor did it do for Takeru and Hikari. Maybe they could come up with a better plan later?

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!"

"NO, IT'S YOUR FAULT!"

Yep. Much, much, _much _later.

* * *

_**End Part One**_

* * *

(1) _The Project_: Don't ask. Really. I had no idea why I even came up with the name, but when I did, it at least SEEMED perfect. I didn't really realize it, but if you thought of the Doing as "Doing" the sentence actually sounds… sexual. In a very wrong sort of way.

Bah, now I'm feeling all guilty again since I have to work on PoC, Snapshot, and IWD, but I'm already bursting with ideas, and I have this really bad case of Writer's Block for Snapshot. I already know what's going on in the second chapter, so this will be updated faster. I'm working on a makeup Kensuke one-shot for them though.

And yes, next chapter will have stuff in Taichi's and Yamato's POV, plus we'll see some of the other Chosen. This was just the startup chapter. There will be other pairs beside Yamachi (I still haven't decided on Soyako or Junora) and Koumi, but we'll see what they are.

Review!


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